An owner is yelling at me on the phone or leaving angry voicemails — what do I say and do?

Jason Hamilton Mikes, JD, MBA
Founder & Managing Shareholder

• Published October 3, 2026
• Reviewed by Jason Hamilton Mikes, JD, MBA, October 3, 2026
• Florida Statutes as of July 1, 2026
• Applies to: Condominiums · HOAs · Cooperatives
• Written for: Community association managers and board members

When an owner calls shouting, lower your voice, let them finish, name the concern, state the answer once and give one next step: Hear, Name, State, Next. If the abuse continues, say once that you'll end the call and follow up in writing, then do it. Save voicemails and call notes; they may be official records (§ 718.111(12)(a); § 720.303(4); § 719.104(2)(a), Fla. Stat.). Don't record calls without everyone's consent (§ 934.03(1)(a), (2)(d)). Threats go to 911, then the board and counsel.

In the moment: what to do

1. Lower your voice and slow down. Callers match the energy they hear. Speak more quietly and slowly than they do.
2. Hear it. Let the owner finish without interrupting. Use short signals ("I see," "Go on"); on the phone, silence can sound like you've hung up.
3. Take notes. Date, time, number, what was said and asked for. Saying "I'm writing this down" also slows the caller down.
4. Name it. Label the concern and the feeling: "It sounds like you've called twice about the leak and feel nobody is listening." Then loop: "Did I get that right?"
5. State it once. Give the answer or the board's position in a sentence, with its source (the minutes, the rule, the work order).
6. Next step. "I'll email you the vendor's date by Thursday." Give a date you can keep.
7. Set the boundary once, if needed. If the yelling, profanity or insults continue: "I want to help, and I can't do that while we're shouting. I'm going to end this call now and follow up in writing." Then end it, never without saying so.
8. Confirm in writing the same day, using the sample below.
9. Threats change everything. If the caller threatens violence, says they're coming to the office, or names a staff member's home, end the call, call 911 if anyone may be in danger, then tell the board and association counsel.

What to say

To open and slow it down:

• "I'm listening. Take your time."
• "I'm writing this down so I get it right."
• "Let me make sure I understand. You're saying…"

To name it without agreeing:

• "It sounds like you feel you've been passed around."

To state and give the next step:

• "Here's what I can confirm today…"
• "That decision belongs to the board. I'll make sure they see your concerns."
• "You'll have an email from me by [day]."

To set the boundary (once):

• "I'm going to end this call now. I'll follow up in writing today."

For repeat callers:

• "I answered this in my email of [date], and the answer hasn't changed."
• "Please send new questions to [address]. I'll respond within [number] business days."

What to write afterward

Subject: Following up on your call on [DATE]
Dear [OWNER NAME],
Thank you for calling on [DATE] about [TOPIC]. I understand this has been frustrating, and I want you to have a clear written answer.
Here is what I can confirm:
- [VERIFIED FACT, e.g., the roof vendor inspected the leak on DATE]
- [VERIFIED FACT OR BOARD DECISION, with date and where recorded]
Next step: [ACTION AND DATE, e.g., I will send you the repair date by DATE]. [IF A BOARD DECISION IS NEEDED: The Board will consider this at its meeting on DATE. Owners may attend and speak on agenda items under the association's meeting rules.]
As I mentioned on the call, I ended our conversation because it had become difficult to continue productively. I am glad to keep helping. The best way to make sure nothing is missed is to email me at [ADDRESS]; I will respond within [NUMBER] business days. For emergencies, please call [NUMBER].
This does not change any of your rights as an owner, including your rights to inspect association records, attend board meetings and speak on agenda items.
Thank you for your patience while we work on this.
Sincerely,
[MANAGER NAME], CAM
[MANAGEMENT COMPANY]
On behalf of the Board of Directors, [ASSOCIATION NAME]

Leave out the "ended our conversation" paragraph if the call ended normally.

What Florida law allows (and doesn't)

• Save voicemails, call notes and emails. Official records include "all other written records of the association not specifically included" that relate to its operation (§ 718.111(12)(a); § 720.303(4); § 719.104(2)(a)). Messages about association business may be official records. Don't delete them; use the record preservation checklist.
• Don't record calls without consent. A phone call is a "wire communication" (§ 934.02(1)). Florida's interception law generally prohibits recording a private conversation or call unless everyone consents (§ 934.03(1)(a), (2)(d)). Any call-recording practice should be reviewed by counsel first. If you learn the owner is recording you, see an owner recording me in the office.
• A communication channel can manage the phone, not owner rights. With board approval, repeated callers can be asked to communicate in writing to one address with a set response time. That can't restrict the owner's rights to inspect records or to attend and speak at board meetings on agenda items (§ 718.112(2)(c); § 720.303(2)(b); § 719.106(1)(c)). See setting boundaries with an abusive owner.

Instead of… / Try…

Copy this prompt into your AI tool

Help me, a Florida community association manager, write a short follow-up email to an owner who called the office on [DATE] about [TOPIC] and [shouted / used insults / called repeatedly]. [I ended the call after saying I would follow up in writing.] Use Hear, Name, State, Next: acknowledge the concern in one sentence, name the frustration without agreeing, state only these approved facts: [FACTS], and give one next step with a date: [STEP AND DATE]. Ask the owner to send future questions to [ADDRESS] with a response time of [X] business days, and give the emergency number [ ]. State that the owner's rights to inspect records, attend board meetings and speak on agenda items are unchanged. Follow BIFF: brief, informative, friendly, firm. No admissions, promises or legal conclusions; don't describe the owner's behavior beyond one neutral phrase; don't mention other owners. Mark anything that needs the board or counsel as [CHECK]. Under 200 words.

Before pasting, remove names, unit numbers, account balances, medical details and anything privileged.

Related resources

• Dealing with difficult owners: Hear, Name, State, Next
• Setting boundaries with an abusive owner
• Responding to an angry email
• An owner who won't take no for an answer
• An owner recording me in the office
• An owner threatens to sue
• Difficult conversations phrase card
• Difficult owner incident log
• Record preservation checklist

Talk to association counsel

When calls turn into threats, or the board wants a formal communication plan for a repeat caller, counsel can help you protect staff while respecting owner rights. Call Hamilton Mikes, P.A. at 239-594-7227 or reach us through our contact page.